Ever since I was a little girl, I learned if something in my life was difficult, the best choice was face the issue, dissect it until you see numerous sides to the situation, and then see how the situation can be manipulated or understood. I learned that if I could take control of the situation, understand more I could identify reason. Reason usually helps create meaning and leads to purpose. Finding purpose in a situation usually helps with closure.
Where would I find answers?
How could I understand something foreign to me?
I didn’t know how I could change my mind or my perception I only knew it was worth trying.
My search for answers was important even if the answers contradicted each other because I would at least have numerous sides to make a more accurate conclusion .
I begin my journey with self help books, reading and researching any information on the topic at hand. I begin to search for other souls that were familiar with the situation in some way or another. I felt if a person was in some way associated with the “issue ” and were placed in my life during that period, I definitely could learn something from them.
Everyone is valuable to me and everyone can lead me to a better understanding of their specific reasons. Which lead to my understanding that there is not one specific reason for anything really.
The more I searched the more I understood that it is OK to think outside of what you know, because what you know isn’t always set in stone.
A peace within! I wasn’t going to find this peace in the world. I needed to feel the peace within yet I was looking outside for the answer. Where would I begin?
I only knew that one thing I really felt I needed was trust. The trust I didn’t have anymore after being hurt too many times. I needed trust back in my life. Trust is extremely important to me, I needed it in my life, even if it was only trust in myself.
How could I regain trust when I worked so hard to put barriers up so I wouldn’t trust. Hmm so we are pretty much born trusting and somewhere along the way, life happens and we become a person created by nature and nurture or lack of… Maybe I can find what I lost going back. Way back to creation 🙂
Faith that whatever road I was on, I had to trust that it’s what needed to be.
I also knew I had to feel a peace knowing I wasn’t alone. I knew in my heart I was never alone, I could and still do always feel a presence around me.
I just didn’t understand why? Why this spirit would be by my side every step of the way… Maybe because I was worth it!