Do you like me? Check Yes, No, Maybe…Difficult People

It starts in elementary school; when a person decides that they “like”  someone,
or they don’t like that person;
or maybe
they just don’t know yet. When you get a little older and a person becomes closer; they find that the like goes a little deeper, and then all of a sudden they call it “LOVE.”

My freshman year in Psychology I was amazed that the opposite is true; we can actually have a “love” for people, but not like them.  I was amazed the more I thought about it; because it made sense.  Love is wanting good for another; no harm; wanting to help another because they are a human being; and certainly not wanting anything to happen to that person in a bad/negative way.  You can love a complete stranger because you care for them as a human being but you don’t necessarily have any positive feelings about the person.  So, loving is actually easy, but somewhere along the way we were made to believe it is something only a few can share.
However to like somebody you are saying that the person brings you feelings that are positive, you enjoy being with that person, you like them around you; you enjoy them as the person they are, and you enjoy to have them in your company.

Guess what we are not going to like everyone, and everyone is not going to like us and that is perfectly acceptable.  Thank you Jesus for giving us the gift of free will, feelings are NEVER wrong they just are what they are; feelings is how we feel! I think it is amazing how two people can be in the same exact situation and then truthfully see it in completely different ways; based on their feelings and beliefs.  Feelings are NEVER wrong; but it is important how we react or don’t react to those people around us who have feelings we don’t understand or agree with if we care about our relationship with them.  Life is quite difficult and for some reason; we will be forced to face that same type of “difficult person” we don’t like for whatever reason in a variety of settings out of our control; our family, our place of employment, our church, our community, our classes, they are EVERYWHERE!
Personally, I don’t have a problem with many people; God has given me the most difficult people in my face since I was young and I chose to stay and deal instead of run away.
So, I do have to say I have accumulated quite a bit of patience for difficult people and am quite forgiving. People can stab me in my back, apologize,  and I will most likely wash their knife for them and hope they won’t do it again.
I am not a door mat; but I do believe people can have a change of heart or truly want to change; so I chose to give people the benefit of the doubt more times than I should.

Some people are really difficult and I’d say downright evil; and they can do horrible things to us and those we love; and they don’t even consider the ramification their actions can have on others; especially innocent others.
What really is amazing is when people are manipulative and their goal is to make others believe their truth and their “truth” is a complete lie.  Manipulating people want to believe and want others to believe “their” fabricated truth no matter what; they refuse to try to understand another person’s feelings or point of view because the truth of others is not really what they are interested in at all.  If anyone tries to tell a manipulative person differently they stop talking to those people because they honestly just want an entourage of people who will allow them to remain in their chosen belief system; they are usually very miserable and they attract the same type of person.
One of the hardest things to do at times is compromising and seeing another person’s point of view; sometimes people choose not to see another way, no matter what and if that is the case; people can agree to disagree but should try to remain respectful, most people would want the same.
When a person is “unhappy” they tend to feel they are just unlucky; that life or people in general are against them.  They don’t want to take responsibility for their mood; they want to believe that their unhappiness is out of their hands.  They want to blame and point fingers at another person instead of doing all they can; which includes putting their pride aside to make their situation different from what it is~better.  Instead of working with others which takes time and compromise; they would rather blame and look like a “victim” of circumstance.   They get people to feel sorry for them; by sharing sad stories that they believe and act as if someone out of NOWHERE pulled a “CHECKMATE B” on them.
The truth is if there is a collapse in a relationship it is because of all parties involved.  I refuse to stay in the ring fighting with exhaustion
when the fight isn’t even fair, so yes I am responsible for quitting a fight.
I only quit when I realize when the fight is completely unfair; who wants to fight a good fight with honor while the other party is fighting with poisoned daggers.
Then there are those who have really low self-esteem; they always feel the need to try to measure up; watching who they feel is their competitor/s; trying to out-do; when in reality they are playing a game in their own head;
oblivious to the fact they are bringing on their own misery by allowing someone they despise to live in their head.   Somewhere in time; they never got that feeling of worth; so they have to keep proving to themselves they are of worth by putting others down.  Spreading their stories they have woven to be their reality to get that small validation from another; even if it’s from people who don’t matter at all; those just like them; mean, cruel and with little regard to the others soul they are hurting.   When someone doesn’t feel fulfilled within they have to always try to fatten their ego by engaging in superficial means to bring them up from their shallow self-image they feel they are drowning in; and the only way to do that is by making fun or being a bully to others.  Drinking from ones own reflection like a lost soul at a water well their thirst is never quenched.

The truth is when people are bitter; and unhappy they are usually very lonely because no one really enjoys being in their company unless they are feeling miserable that day; or intoxicated.  The same people will most likely say they hang out with the person because they feel sorry for them or bullied with questions if they try to eliminate them from their lives.  They feel so frustrated and out of control they act out, a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

One of the hardest things to do is overlook all the hurtful behavior; all the things you and they KNOW they have done to you, including laughing with others clowning you, fabricated lies, stole/borrowed your identity behaviors, tried to portray you in a complete false light to others… and forgive them because somewhere in there they have a heart. Knowing and recognizing that I~ myself am a sinner; and I have not always chosen the path of the righteous, yet I have found my change of heart.   How can anyone ever love if they have not really grasped the concept of love; and really know what it entails.  The crazy thing is the more you love; the more love you will find and see in others.

These people we are discussing, you know who they are in your life now… they are here to teach you a valuable lesson; something you NEED to learn; and if you don’t that person will be replaced with someone else who will be just the same… MARK MY WORDS… Think for a minute about the person you are thinking about; before them who was it, someone else similar I bet. GET IT RIGHT once and for all, so you will understand what this lesson in life is trying to teach you; what you need to learn so that you can continue on with your personal journey in this life. Most of the time it is said those things in our life that hit our nerve are those small parts of ourselves that we are denying and refuse to face; or hide from the world.  If it wasn’t so close to the nerve it wouldn’t bother us so much and it definitely wouldn’t live in our head.

To find happiness we really need to LET GO OF OUR FEARS and allow LOVE! Face those fears even if they scare us, even if they make us feel uncomfortable, take that ride out of our comfort zone out of our element… We will find that only then we are ready to love and give with humility; we don’t need an entourage; we will feel just fine on our own. The crazy things is people will be drawn to you like Bee’s to Honey because they can feel your happiness, positive, and light radiating and everyone wants some of that.

Remember, You don’t go run a marathon without training; you have to stretch, and add small miles at a time; and one day a week go for a longer harder run.  The same is true with facing our fears and getting our courage level up to face all those hard things in life we would rather not; but keep us unhappy.

One thing is for sure, you don’t need negative people who drain your happiness in your life; because if you are drained how will you empower others and be all you can be?

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