Letter to Ex-wife

Dearest D****

This is a letter officially directed to you as written public request to cease and detest… Any and all… “Harassing behavior”means conduct by the defendant (you) directed specifically toward the claimant (me and my family), including following the claimant, that is reasonably likely to harass, annoy, alarm, abuse, torment, or embarrass the claimant.

The moment I first had contact with you was through text; my objective was to reassure you since I was the woman dating your ex, I wanted you to know I would never try to take your place in any way with your children, poison or warp their minds in any way and that they would be in good hands when the children were with us. I explained a little about my education thinking it would put your mind at ease, when the kids were with me they would be safe.  I was not just professionally qualified with education in children, family issues, aware of each of their developmental, physical, and mental needs but I also had a huge heart; and cared. Honestly, that would have been important to me for my own children so that is what I assumed the same would be important to you.

From the initial conversation your attacks begun feeling I was “showing off” or making you feel I was better than you. This was very far from the truth as we are all equals in this world just living our own unique story. You told me you didn’t want me to have anything to do with “your” children, advised me if anything was needed for them only you and “father” should AND would provide. The next interaction was you fuming on social media because I put a picture of (middle child) up on my Facebook that was a special memory to me of him giving me flowers; and a funny picture of the baby being cute and playing in my high heels. After a moment of self reflection realizing we all need our own time to grieve and each handle changes in our way; I vowed to take your feelings into consideration.  You went on to the beginning of your first social media tactic that would become the first of many in the course of the past four years.

I took the pictures down within the hour out of respect for the children and let go of my own preconceived notions of how things are supposed to be.  I stepped back and allowed you and G** to communicate between you two and never forced my presence at any time all the children exchanges were without me in view. I felt if I was never there you would have time to adjust without me antagonizing you with just my simple presence and to this day, four years later I still have yet to meet you.

I am not the kind of person who holds enemies; I love people generally and make peace with those who I have had unfortunate circumstances with; you are the first person I have ever met who is so destined on ruining another person’s reputation for really no reason at all. There is no person out there who hates me and thinks of me in all the ways you do; so when you attack; I am really not guessing where it is coming from.

You began with stalking me by making numerous fake profiles on social media to gather bits of information you can manipulate in a negative fashion. You’ve continued to lie to the public about your situation as if you, yourself were a victim. You have sent numerous “deliveries” to my house whether it’s a day spent on Grubhub or a specific item I got in the mail… (Federal offense by the way), you have stolen pictures of me and manipulated them to be something they are not for the sole purpose to ruin my image with friends, neighbors, my job, and in my community.  Why what for, what are you gaining from doing these behaviors.  Honestly; no one who is important in my life believes these things; I live my life very real; and very honest. I am nothing close to the things you portray me to be and no matter how many times you say it or how many avenues you use; no one will believe it unless of course they don’t know me… and then I don’t really care because the only ones who matter are those in my life.  In other words you are wasting a lot of your time living with negative thoughts and that can’t be healthy for your family. I don’t know what is going on your life to make you want to do such things or harbor such ill feelings in your mind but it won’t lead you down a good path; and your well-being sets the mode for your children.

We thought with time; you would adjust find your way and eventually be able to re-establish all those relationships that we want to have in our lives.  You seem to have not let “us” go in your mind and the anger hasn’t even begun to go down a little; I can only imagine if we had to deal with you on a bi-weekly basis what it would do; which isn’t fair to the boys, my kids, or all adults involved.

I received your request to talk; and I almost got excited thinking things would change; we would all finally begin to have a life as a complete family; but I was warned.  I am glad I didn’t bite the bait because obviously you didn’t mean what you said; if you had you would have never continued on with the same usual behavior… made that stupid Facebook page about me and sent G** that awful message of all those things you feel in your own head. I could feel the frustration and madness of your words and I know you are not happy or well and I feel sorry for you.

It makes me sad that you have such a hang up with people’s weight when you have overweight family members including offspring.  Our bodies are simply a shell; it is what our soul possesses that matters.  Even so; I am completely attracted to a big, squishy, ball of love, some may not be what people find beautiful is different.  I happen to see beauty in all shapes and sizes you should try acceptance it is a beautiful way of life.  As far as jobs are concerned G** has one; pays his child support; pays our bills… NO WE HAVE NEVER BEEN ON HOUSING (if we had why would that matter) LMAO; where that came from I have no clue; but we are content; we have all we need and then some.

Children are really blessed  to have as many people in their lives as they can that love them.  If they have 2 fathers they are blessed x 2; it really takes a lot of love and support to guide children and each adult who is involved in your children’s life can offer them something another can’t.  My children are in love with G he is not only physically present but emotionally and mentally; they know they can count on him; he is funny, outrageous, creative, and kind-hearted.  My kids miss him when he is at work; and loves when he is involved with them; and always crave that one/one time; but that doesn’t take away from their father.  They receive a complete different type of love from their father; who is an awesome dad in his own way.  I don’t quite understand the comparison in your message; I don’t know if you feel like children have to pick a side or what; but that isn’t healthy for them; puts them on an unhappy mode of accepting guilt for something they shouldn’t feel guilty about.  To minimize his relationship with my kids is a joke; you can do it in your brain; but you can’t do it in their hearts or lives.

What does sending messages to G saying … You are Only getting older,fatter and more mentally unstable… do for you? Think about that don’t just chew on it; think long and hard.

Aging isn’t a terrible thing; in my eyes; I think it’s actually magnificently beautiful.  It would be wise for you to accept the fact EVERYONE is getting older; the quicker the better because you too are aging.  The older we get the more knowledge we hold; the more tender we become and the more we figure out what works and what doesn’t.  We make mistakes when we are young; but the old and wise have already discovered what works what doesn’t; they have had plenty more lessons to perfect their blend; unless of course you continue to stay stagnant and live in the same murky waters you always will.

You seem very obsessed with G** stability as you call it; too many messages are touching on this subject.  I want you to know you can let go of that worry he has never been more stable in his life; he is not just happy he is thriving so well that even the devil attempts roll off of his shoulders.

You both have a bad relationship; can’t even see eye to eye…  do you really he think he cares what you are feeling?  He doesn’t; and the more you do the more he realizes how lucky he is to get “lost/hide” from you… as you put it.   Everything he has set out to do he is doing, all the promises he has made to me; he has kept.  He is a winner in our family; if you think he has lost respect; you are sadly mistaken he has all the utmost respect from the people who he shares his life with.  Those people who continually disrespect him, make his life toxic, he doesn’t crave their respect one bit.  So, sending him messages telling him he has lost all respect, from who????   Finally, please just … Let it go!!!

I hate to stir up emotions because it usually leads to more problems; so I have ignored everything and just made my case.  I have police reports for every bully, stalking attempt and extensive documented data from the social networks involved.  I really feel I have been more than patient; never retaliating; giving your space; leaving you alone.  I am continuously harassed; as are my family and friends; I will not allow it any longer; I understand if you need to get help here is your opportunity… I will begin to work closely with my attorney to begin to press charges against you for all past and current harassment.  You are not allowed to use any photos of me; you are not allowed to stalk me, any one in my family, friends, or those involved in my life.   G** and I do not want to receive any messages, threats, or beliefs about us that you hold.  I have enough documentation to prove you are stalking, bullying us; and this is the last written notice warning you to stop!

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