Letting loose but hanging on~

Hardest thing ever ~ since Marisa was a baby she acted like she couldn’t do whatever it was in front of her without me, almost like the damsel in distress kind of thing.

From Mothers day out 18 months on to this very day, I’ve had this little girl act like she needed me to do everything for her.

Marisa was attached by my side, the only parent at parties, waiting in parking lots to rescue her, school functions, everything.

I was told from the beginning I was always welcomed but nobody saw the need I did. They tried to tell me in so many different ways, it was me that brought out that side of her.  Something about me being the nurturer she knew I would do it for her and could be quite bossy if she thought I wouldn’t; using such tactics as she will be lost on her own, but would figure things out~

of course that never happened.

But, I was s strong example to her and the moment I walked away, she was kick n butt in every way I showed her, I was told to secretly watch ask around. Marisa was not this scared lost spirit she acted to be when I was around. Marisa was independent, a leader, she was considerate, caring, and gave others the confidence they needed.

I always thought yes, that’s sweet and all but she’s fragile…

She is just a double stuffed Oreo eating cutie…

And I’d get that same look over and over throughout the years … FRAGILE, are we talking about the same Marisa.
A few weeks back she wanted to move out with a friend, she was determined.

She sold me the plan, it would make her independent and force her to not be so comfortable at home. We went looked at the apartment I met her roommate to be… Then I started my investigations as usual. Marisa who is 19 laughed when she caught me, she said mom I told my friends what you are doing and they wondered if you are going to investigate them! Laughing making fun of me, I told her I have investigated every single friends parent she ever went to, went out with… She looked at me like I am crazy and I guess maybe I am, with good reason I’d say.

I will do whatever it takes to protect my kids, and help them… Even when it means learning as hard as it is to let go and let her be… Let her live her life and make small very small minor mistakes on her own. 😯

She isn’t moving out, thank God she would rather spend her money on Kanye concert tickets and fun like that as long as possible, see she’s smarter than I was.

Today we went to the bank she lost her card, and I said I will wait here… Hard for me, my natural instinct go show her step by step what to do, just like when she got the account.

 She started with the , “mom you need to come in I don’t know where to go”… I stood mu ground told her, no go in and ask, they will take care of you, you will figure it out.  This ones actually easy I will practice here.

2 more kids to go~

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