circle of frustration

I am too much, I always look like the answer, I am the excitement one longed for; it is fast, surreal, and motivatingbut then as I become familiar you allow the darkness back in.  The darkness that you once allowed me to suppress; you, it wasn’t me; you gave me the power.  Then you stopped trusting all things in the world again; you stopped trusting me with no reason of mine; you just became afraid; and you are no stranger to fear.Fear has been with you longer than any other so you stopped accepting the rays of light I provided.  My uninvited rays clung tightly to my feelings of frustration; the feelings I have trusted and known longer than most.  My rays become more powerful; but the rays composition have changed in substance; my rays become flames, flames of destruction or shields.  Isolation takes you away; it makes some drink or sleep; it just does what works to inebriate; whatever your form to allow it to work; while I let go; and find my own way once again…and again~I find my way; I am content and then you forever remind me how I left you when you were blind, deaf, and dumb and will forever crave what you gave away!