What is true

What goes around DOES come around !!!! Sometimes it saddens me when I learn the truth; and when I least expect it and don’t quite understand how and why; I have yet found my old self in the same circumstances but in such a different way.

Why is it that it has come around again, is it to fulfill certain needs in oneself and/or in the path that comes from another to show me a pattern of continuance.

While, one may hope it Is a circle of path to finally understand; there comes the glimpses of “full circle” coming through.

It doesn’t “feel so terrible” for those who only observe, those watching on the sidelines hearing stories of how it went, but never experiencing them on their own.

I know it is easier to just not pay attention than to be on the team and work with everyone’s individual strengths! I completely understand why so many don’t want to join in, but rather watch from afar~. I wish I was the kind of soul that can stop during my own play. Hmm, I wonder if I had the idea to stop the tackle through and just sit and look pretty then would my life really be easier! My mama always told me, “Michele You will suffer every day when you already have the power not to, use your strengths.” But yes, I always do, and my strength is always in the other end of the 50 yard and it is ok because I will fight to the truth…. Even when it is ugly and the hardest.

The truth isn’t the perfection people see and crave. The truth is raw, mean but still it’s what I seek, in the deepest part of my soul the truth speaks to me in a language I believe. The truth stands next to me in the harsh cold when everyone else leaves. Truth doesn’t leave you alone, and it is loudly there even in the dark and during the tight ~it’s presence you feel a vicious bite, it has the power to hold my breath until morning light.

3 am can’t sleep, wondering what is guiding me, not my spirit of course it knows how important my rest is… it is my addiction with the truth, the sometimes-ugly reality. I know hard work, I have been working all my life, to survive; and then some; but not much attention is given to that… The only attention that is given is to the overtop antics that keep things going, the movement that won’t stop… the laughter that keeps things propelled… the never ending circus of what everyone seems to make me feel.

Am I not important, am I just a joke, am I just the place you needed and now feel indebted to? I am not a charity case, take my good grace and run free, please…. Don’t be me.

We are all addicted to something sometimes, it doesn’t have to be me just because I set you free….. There is so much more, open the door. How much of me do you need, how much of you do I really know?

Only God knows and when I think of him… it’s Eternity. Is that my learned ways or is that the truth that I will always crave, looking for the 411 everywhere!
The truth is … that MY TRUE DRIVE shouldn’t cause me to flee or fight, I need to understand that the truth is not always found in the certainty.

Oh Yeah… Check me and I’ll check you back!

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